In hospitals, morbid humour, irreverence and euphemism is a way of coping with daily exposure to injury, disease and death. In the English speaking world, medical slang has entered the popular culture via television hospital and forensic science dramas such as ER, House M.D., NCIS, Scrubs and Grey's Anatomy.

In many countries, facetious or insulting acronyms are now considered unethical and unacceptable, and patients can access their medical records. Medical facilities risk being sued by patients offended by the descriptions. As a result, medical slang nowadays tends to be restricted to oral use and to informal notes or emails, which do not form part of a patient’s formal records.

For the record, here’s a selection gathered from a variety of sources:

ART: Ain't Right There (patient has an unusual demeanour or behaviour)
ATFO: Asked To Fuck Off
ATS: Acute Thespian Syndrome (patients who exaggerate symptoms)
BWCO: Baby Won't Come Out (needs Caesarian)
CFL: Chronic Frustrated Lawyer (frustrated patient who threatens legal action frequently)
CTD: Circling the Drain (a critically ill patient who is deteriorating.
DBI: Dirt Bag Index (rating of how unkempt or “rough around the edges” a patient appears)
DUB: Damn Ugly Baby
EGO: Excessive Gas Output (patients with frequent flatulence complaints)
FDGB: Fall Down, Go Boom (a patient who’s fallen or had a sudden accident)
FF: Frequent Flyer (patient who frequently visits the ER for non-emergency issues)
FLK: Funny-Looking Kid
FLK w/ GLM: Funny-Looking Kid with a Good Looking Mother
FUBAR: Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition (extremely complex or difficult situation)
FURB: Funny, Unusual, Rectal Blockage (people who use inappropriate objects as butt-plugs)
GLM: Good-Looking Mum
GOK: God Only Knows (patient with symptoms that are baffling or defy a clear diagnosis)
GOMER: Get Out of My Emergency Room
GPO: Good for Parts Only (trauma patients whose injuries may mean they are unlikely to survive)
GRAFOB: Grim Reaper At Foot Of Bed
LOBNH: Lights On But Nobody Home (patients who are alert but mentally absent)
LOFA: Lack of Fucking Ability (patients who struggle with simple tasks or who seem helpless)
LOLINAD: Little Old Lady In No Apparent Distress
NQR: Not Quite Right (patient who doesn’t have a clear diagnosis but isn’t healthy either)
PITA: Pain In The Ass
SBI: Something Bad Inside (unknown, concerning issue with a patient, often before a diagnosis)
TEETH: Tried Everything Else, Try Homeopathy (chronic cases that resist standard treatment)
TMB: Too Many Birthdays (elderly patients, often with multiple chronic issues due to age)
TOBP: Tired of Being Pregnant (especially patient demanding caesarian)
TSTL: Too Stupid To Live (patients engaging in extremely risky or unhealthy behaviour)
TTFO: Told To Fuck Off
UBI: Unexplained Beer Injury (injuries of unknown origin associated with alcohol consumption)
VIP Syndrome: high-status patient expects special treatment that disrupts standard care
WADA: Weak And Dizzy All-over (patients who come in with vague, non-specific symptoms)

… and let’s not forget the vets:

CSTO: Cat Smarter Than Owner
DSTO: Dog Smarter Than Owner

… or indeed the Brazilians:

PIMBA: Pé Inchado Mulambo Bêbado Atropelado meaning “swollen-footed, drunk, run-over beggar”
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References

wikipedia.org/wiki/Medical_slang
bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3159813
reddit.com/r/nursing/comments/tp0617/what_are_some_of_your_favorite_unofficial
linkedin.com/pulse/hilarious-acronyms-medicine-medical-slang-farokh-wadia
messybeast.com/dragonqueen/medical-acronyms

Images

1. Strictly off the record
2. BWCO. Nurse midwife Major Christine Gundel (right) checks on Monica McCoy, a patient at the Maternal Child Unit at the Malcolm Grow Medical Clinic, Joint Base Andrews, Maryland, USA, before her Caesarean section
3. GRAFOB
4. FDGB