This charming act has inspired a human equivalent, termed “pebbling”. [Ed: Everything, it seems, gets its own name these days.] In modern society, pebbling refers to the small but thoughtful gestures that people use to express affection and build social connections. Originating in online communities, pebbling has gained traction as a concept, particularly in digital spaces, where sharing memes, videos and links is seen as a meaningful way to say, “I thought of you”. Just as penguins carefully choose just the right pebbles, humans share content or small tokens of appreciation to show their loved ones that they are on their minds.

The essence of pebbling lies not in the content itself but in the act of sharing. Sending memes, TikToks, articles or music is an efficient and inclusive form of communication. It is particularly significant in today’s fast-paced world where people struggle to find time for traditional interactions, like phone calls or lengthy conversations. New York-based therapist Mariam Hager highlights pebbling’s role in maintaining relationships, emphasising its accessibility as a low-effort yet emotionally validating gesture. For many, it is the perfect way to connect amidst busy lives.

Pebbling isn’t confined to digital spaces. Its physical counterparts include sending postcards, handwritten notes [Ed: Remember those?], flowers, or thoughtful gifts – gestures that have been part of human behaviour for centuries. These actions reinforce social bonds and communicate care and thoughtfulness. A 2023 communications study confirms that sharing memes and digital media frequently occurs in close relationships, enhancing joy and connection. Moreover, research highlights that gift-giving fosters social ties, demonstrating the universality of pebbling across contexts.

The neurodivergent community, in particular, has embraced pebbling as a meaningful alternative to traditional shows of affection. Nonverbal communication through pebbling gestures – like sharing content or small gifts – provides an accessible way to express love and connection for those who find verbal communication challenging.

Beyond individual relationships, pebbling promotes community and mutual support, especially in digital spaces. Unlike algorithm-driven engagement, which prioritises virality, pebbling emphasises intentional interactions. By liking, commenting, or amplifying shared content, individuals in smaller or marginalised communities help support creators, amplify voices, and nurture a sense of belonging. In this way, pebbling reflects the power of human agency in fostering connection and solidarity online.

Modern examples of pebbling go beyond sharing memes [Ed: Sorry, Cats of the Internet]. Music is a common medium, with curated playlists or mixtapes carefully crafted to evoke memories (each song is a pebble), communicate emotions and strengthen bonds. Similarly, gift-giving, no matter how modest, serves as a tangible expression of affection and attentiveness.

At its heart, pebbling is a reminder of our shared need for connection. Whether it’s a Gentoo penguin choosing the perfect rock or a person sharing an amusing meme, the message is clear: “I saw this, and I thought of you.”

Story Idea: Melanie Giuffré
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References

wikipedia.org/wiki/Pebbling
forbes.com/sites/traversmark/2024/07/11/a-psychologist-explains-pebbling-a-wholesome-dating-trend-on-the-rise
theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/article/2024/jun/04/pebbling-viral-romance-trend-humans-stolen-from-penguins
bbcearth.com/news/the-gift-to-win-a-penguins-heart
inc.com/jessica-stillman/star-psychologist-adam-grant-pebbling-secret-stronger-relationships

Images

1. Gentoo penguin (Pygoscelis papua) on nest. Photo credit: Jason Auch
2. Gentoo penguin with pebble. Credit: The Guardian
3. Sharing a meme with a friend is giving them a chosen pebble
4. Psychologist Adam Grant posts about pebbling here on X, 19 June 2024
5. The lovingly curated mix tape is a collection of precious pebbles
6. "Gift Giving Makes You Happy." So says a self-interested REMO.